Airplanes

1. Why do they put frosted glass in aeroplanes toilet windows? Who is going to see you at 30000 feet?

2. How come when an airplane lands the flight attendant says 'If you need wheel chair assistance please stay seated'?

3. How come as soon as the stewardess serves the coffee the airplane encounters turbulence?

4. Why is it that the first piece of luggage out of the chute at the airport never belongs to anyone ever?

5. How come no flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight?

Items

1. What happens if you photocopy a mirror?

2. If a mirror is in your house and no one is there to see it does it cast a reflection?

3. What colour is a mirror?

4. Where are the toilets on the U.S.S. Enterprise?

5. Should we be conserving toilet paper by using both sides?

6. Why does the phone always ring when you're on the toilet?

The police

1. If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

2. Do police officers ever get traffic tickets? And if so, do they get an employee discount?

Aliens

1. Has anyone else noticed that in all cases of reported alien abductions, the aliens were all in the medical profession? How come we never hear of a reported sighting of an alien plumber?

2. Why do all aliens always have such big heads?

3. If UFO stands for UNIDENTIFIED Flying Object, doesn't that IDENTIFY it? If so, then it is no longer UNIDENTIFIED, right?